Nine Months of Silence
March 22, 2009
It has been a while since I wrote on this blog. The pain of last year made it too deep to write and fully express myself. But I am ready to share my thoughts again, nine months later.
The experience of trauma and loss can leave one shocked. A sign of truama can be the loss of speech and muteness. Complete silence only reflects the level of pain one experiences. But eventually that pain must be fully expressed and released in order for a person to fully heal from a particular trauma.
Nine months later, my fifth chakra finally opens. I am finally able to express, and even cry out. I am happy to be back and alive again.
The Queen and The Thief
August 1, 2008
The Queen (a.k.a Empress) represents power and authoirty in women who symbolically rule over anything from a corporation to the thome. She is associated with positive arrogance and a need to protect one’s personal and emotional power. The Shadow Queen can slip into aggressive and destructive patterns of behavior, if she is not careful, particularly when authority or control is challenged. The Queen must look for a pattern of authoritative control of others throughout her life.
The Thief (a.k.a Swindler, Con Artist, Robin Hood) should be evaluated from its symbolic meaning in the emotional and intellectual arenas, including plagiarism, stealing ideas, and even affection. He implies the need to earn self-respect by taking what isn’t yours, because you lack the ability to provide for yourself. He prods you to learn to generate power from within by alerting you when you’re in danger of losing fiath in yourself. The Shadow Thief doesn’t steal out of actual need (such as starvation) but out of perceived need (shoptlifting itmes one canafford to buy). The Thief must look for a continuing pattern of expropriating from others– materially, intellectually, or emotionally.
When The Queen has a generous and benevolent heart, she is open to bestowing her gifts and riches to all that show love and respect to her. But when The Queen is vulnerable, it is quite easy for The Thief to come along and steal her affections. Some thieves are even skillful at stealing a Queen away from The King (Emperor), but this is always temporary. If the Queen realizes that she has been taken advantage of by a Thief, her King comes back from battle and swings at The Thief with a mighty sword, protecting his eternal beloved from any further expropriations. The King, then, once again reunites with his Queen and restores their magical kingdom with a renewed and everlasting spiritual commitment.
Protected: When The Phone Rings Off The Hook
July 29, 2008
Protected: Faithlessly Fallen
July 28, 2008
A Shout Out to My Girlfriends
July 23, 2008
Dear Girlfriends,
I think for any of you who I am addressing this to will automatically know who you are if you are reading this. And sister, it’s a given that you are The Numero Uno Girlfriend of all time, so I include you in this letter.
Girlfriends: I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. It has been a truly rough and tumble year for me so far, and the one thing that has brought me some constancy and stability in my life has been the support of my girlfriends. Among my girlfriends I have found unconditional love, advice, guidance, affirmation, nonjudgmental listening, patience, a shoulder to cry on, encouragement, and an endless supply of comfort during trying times. I love you all. So, I shout out to all of you in no particular order:
To The Doctor: I never dreamed I would have someone to love me unconditionally. Real love was always waiting for me at home, even when we were just typical sibling rivals. You have become my best friend and my confidant. You are the only one that knows how to make me laugh and cry at the same time. I can’t believe how much we have grown and matured together. Thank you for always supplying me with a hot meal, a comfortable bed, and a listening ear whenever it’s needed. I love you, sis. For all the complaining I do sometimes, our parents must have done something right.
La Abogada: Te quiero mucho! You listen to me without judgment and ALWAYS offer me sound advice. I feel like I can tell you anything. Thank you for encouraging me to follow my heart and not to completely lead with my head. Gracias por la vida.
To The Investigator: What can I say, but you are my homegirl that shares with me the mystery of life and the third eye. You always keep it real and look out for my best interests, and I deeply appreciate that. Tom Boys For Life!
To The One that Showed me To The Light House: Thank you for opening the door for me and introducing me to a world of freedom. You really are a beacon of light and I thank you for helping me confront my own shadows and demons with love and compassion.
To My Neighboring Colombiana: What a gift you are and what a blessing it has been to get closer! I am so lucky to have a friend like you. Thank you for helping me keep my chin up during challenging times and for being the best listener. Thank you for managing to make me crack up at how insane life can be.
To My Mystic Friend: I thank God for you, and I thank God for your father for bringing us back together again. He sure knew what he was doing. The journey is just beginning, so fasten your seat belt.
And To The Three Mamas: Thank you for continuing to hold me in your prayers, for constantly sending me light, and for teaching me strength and wisdom. Yes, we are friends for life. Thank you for modelling what it means to be truly the strongest mothers I’ve ever known. I deeply respect you.
Loving You Always,
Me
